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Free FM?
CHURCHofKINK, CoK, ENTANGLEMENT, ENLIGHTENMENT, INTELLIGENT
strawberryviper
The daily commute is not the most wonderful thing in the world. For those of us in the Bay Area, it's made profoundly worse by the utter lack of redeeming programming in the world of free radio (I guess you get what you pay for huh?). But for a brief moment, there was a shining beacon of hope on the horizon that held the promise of good times while navigating the gridlock. 106.9 Free Fm had a pretty sweet line-up for a little minute earlier this year. Adam Carolla on morning, Darian O'Toole on lunch duty, Penn Jillette mid afternoon, John London doing the evening drive time and Tom Leykis on nights. Pretty solid line up for an FM Talk radio station. But alas, it was not to last.

Within the span of one month, both John London and Darien O'Toole were unceremoniously fired and any remains of their time at the station were wiped from the annoying 106.9FreeFm website. I guess the brain trust over there at Free FM figured that since no one was listening, (judging by the lack of ads and overabundance of station ID's) that no one would noticed two major radio personalities had left the building. Sure John London offered (on the air) to pay someone $5,000 to kill Penn Jillette, and sure Darian O'Toole fell asleep (passed out) while her show was live, but is that really any reason to fire someone? Hell no! That's great fodder for news stories (read: free advertising) and it also shows that these jocks had some gumption; unlike the FUPA farmers that have come and gone in attempts to fill these glaringly vacant time slots in the now months that have passed since London and O'Toole got the boot. Wait for it, I'm reloading. Key the music, and give me a double, let's talk about the evening drive time slot and the parade of ass hats that Free FM has opened the mic to recently. First up, Johnny Wendell.

Someone please just kill me now. I couldn't even make it out of the parking lot before completely turning my radio off and shaking with disgust. This man's voice is like a wasabi enema with a gerbil chaser. I'll give the guy credit for knowing a good deal of music history, but talk about killing me with the cool guy radio voice... Thankfully Wendell didn't last long and in his absence, the Free FM PD Ken Kohl has been giving genius lessons by airing the radio equivalent of When Harry met Lloyd to fill the drive time slot. Welcome to the Bay Area Scott & Casey, enjoy the stay, because judging by your record so far, it won't be for long. If yesterday's studio invasion by train wreck and former child star Danny Bonaduce is any indication, Scott & Casey could be out before the weekend. But since we're on the subject, let's take a moment to explore just how much I loathe these two So-Cal born and inbreed imbeciles.

First off, one of my pet peeves with talk radio is when the host is practically begging people to call in and chat. It's talk radio, people get it, they understand how it works, just give us the phone number every now and again and stop panhandling calls from your glassy eyed audience. Here's a news flash, if you two dildos had anything worthwhile or even slightly redeeming to share with the Bay Area, the phone would be ringing off the hook. Instead, we get inane discussion about topics that are loosely (at best) tied to the top news stories of the day. My most recent favorite was the contemplation of the Supreme Courts ruling that death row inmates may challenge the legality of the lethal injection... oh where oh where is my sweet, misogynistic, politically incorrect, decidedly offensive John London and his Inferno radio crew? Sure Mr. London is rude, out dated, sexist, and just plain offensive, but at least he has an IQ that is demonstrably above 80 points (which Scott & Casey barely achieve with their IQ's combined). Listening to Scott & Casey get their verbose on about the best way to execute death row inmates led me to the conclusion that we should just get inmates to kill themselves by pumping Scott & Casey into the prisons 24 hours a day until said prisons are empty (save the deaf who would be spared). This should only take about a week, two at worst. I only wish I was a celebrity so I could challenge these asshats to a charity boxing match. I'd take both of them at the same time and wipe the floor with their circular logic and limited mental abilities. Well enough of this jibber-jabber, I need to download the podcast of this mornings Adam Carolla show so I can continue the frontal lobe atrophy that has set in ever since Howard left "free radio..."

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